This week's topic of conversation was about physical attraction, dating, love and marriage. We were asked to define "Love". This is my definition: A feeling of deep connectivity where you desire to be your "best self" and have secure feelings of passion and commitment. What would your definition be?
We discussed why people chose cohabitation instead of marriage. I feel that cohabitation shows a lack of commitment. This is where people want to "put their toe in the water" to test it and pull it back out, if they don't like it...like "no harm done" or "at least now I know" attitude. So they are only going to put in 1/2 the effort..."just in case" it doesn't work out. Then they weren't fully invested, so "that's okay" is the feeling after a break up. What is your feeling about cohabitation instead of marriage?
What are some of the qualities you would like to see in the person you'd choose to marry?
Here is my list:
* Honest with self and others * Affectionate
* Loyal * Attractive-takes care of self
* Respectful and kind * Hard worker & educated
* Shows sympathy and empathy * Dependable
* Communicator-expresses feelings, holds conversations about many topics
Long term satisfaction is difficult to predict because: 1) Knowledge of someone is always limited. People may not reveal problematic aspects of their lives until after marriage and; 2) Our needs and interests change over time. Which can make us more or less compatible.
Whatever patterns you've started in the beginning of the relationship will be a good predictor of how the marriage relationship will be.
Women marry thinking that things will change after marriage. Men think that things will stay the same.
The things we found attractive when dating, are now the things we don't like in the marriage.
Just a few things to make you go...hmmmm. Any opinions? Do you agree with any of these statements or am I off the mark?
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